The List

The Kid is seriously frustrating me. He will not give me a Christmas list! Last year he was clear and very sure about his list. It was short and sweet: a bike, moonsand, and walnuts. It doesn't get easier than that! (He was SO surprised when he got more that those three things!) So not wanting to encourage greediness or a desire to accumulate lots of stuff AND at the same time, desiring to teach him what Christmas is really all about,I am trying to very gently and sneakily (do you like that word?) find out what he wants. (He had to write a sentence with his spelling word "list" and so I have even tried to infiltate homework time - to no avail.)

I thought I had it all figured out. Finally, I'd get a peek at The List! We go to a fun family thing at the Ag Museum. One room is set up for writing letters to Santa. I offered to help...he didn't really need me, but I saw the letter. Are you ready for this?! "Dear Santa, How's it going? Have a nice day. Love, Austin" I said, "Why don't you tell Santa something you'd like for Christmas?" His reply: "We've got a secret."

Oh man! How will I ever find out?! If you can figure get it from him, let me know. Until then,I'll try to appreciate the fact that, for now, my child is so content hanging with us enjoying the fun stuff that comes with the season.

Magic Kingdom....Here We Come!

WOW! The Kid in my house is so excited! He is going to Disney World sometime soon, and as far as he is concerned, all else should cease and desist until the trip is done! He has told everyone and invited at least 20 others to go with us. The Kids' Guide to Disney World is his new favorite read and thoughts of Santa have taken a backseat. Most exciting of all is that we get to go with him!

I'll never forget my first trip there with Manders. She loved the princesses and she devoured Epcot, collecting a flag from every country. She was shy and polite
as she waited in lines for character autographs.

I somehow think The Kid's approach to taking it all in will be a little different. Everyone will KNOW he is there and there will be no slow, methodical consideration of what to do next....while we're thinking, he'll be in line for the next thing. I think he'll somehow end up in a parade or on a float...uninvited, but there all the same. He's already made me measure him to be sure he's over the 40" requirement for the attractions he has marked in his guide.

Yep, it's going to be a magical trip for him...and for us, too, but our magic will be found in his eyes!

My Personality...or not?

The results of what I am sure is a most highly researched, scientifically developed personality study are below....Since "everyone else" seems to be trusting the results, I guess that "in order to maintain harmony" and make further "personal connections," I decided I should as well. But anyway......what do you think???

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.
However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud



I agree with some of it, but some I'm not so sure about. At any rate, I sure hope the last line is wrong!!!! Right or not, all that matters is who I am in Christ!

Today in History....

Four years ago, about this time, we dropped The Kid off and began the trip to Texas that changed our lives forever. As soon as we got there, we flew straight to the hospital, screeched into a parking spot, found the quickest route to the delivery wing of that hospital, then ran to the room where our baby was about to deliver her first baby. In retrospect, I am not sure why we rushed....that baby took his own sweet little time to make his entrance. I'll never forget that wait! Every once in awhile I would sneak to the door of the room and listen in to hear what was happening, then I'd resume my post in the waiting room. (I've always wondered...if they knew that was going to be a place where people were going to be waiting, why not put more comfortable furniture there?) Anyway, I commenced to praying and journaling my thoughts. There were intermittent tears and spots of mild anxiety, mixed with some yawns....did I say we waited a looooong time?! My husband just slept, with the understanding that if something happened, we'd let him know.

Words can't ever express how grateful to God I was when I heard that he had finally decided to move out of his hibernation and into our world...and that he was safe and sound along with his mom. We now had two babies - a grown one with her own little one! Immeasurable JOY!

So today I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Wild Man! My life and heart will never be the same!

Just Stomp It!

So The Kid and I were talking about lying and how much God does not like it. Curious about what he would say, I asked, "Do you ever lie?" He admitted that sometimes he had lied. Then he said, "But like a big bad roach, I stomped it out!"

If only getting rid of bad habits were so easy for me.....

I (Sometimes) Don't Want To Either

Tonight when it was time to leave for Big Church The Kid in my house was one mad dude! He caught a baby box turtle today and he felt the turtle really needed him to stay home. But I am bigger and meaner, so we loaded up. The whole way there The Kid complained. He said he had already heard preaching today; I told him about the guest who would tell stories. He said he hated stories.

Once we arrived and parked in front of the portables, he thought it would be fun to wait there while I attended church. Again, since I am bigger and meaner, we began our long, slow, arduous walk to the front of Big Church. Along the way, there were small hills to run up and down and little banisters to climb and slide down. There were people to talk to and bugs to look at. It took us 10 minutes to walk 50 yards!

We sat up front and he spent the first two songs whining about being in church. Then the preacher’s wife just had to sit right in front of us – the pressure to look happy while secretly wanting to strangle a child during a worship song was on! He did not sit still at all, wiggling all over me and messing up my hair (have I ever said I hate people messing up my hair in public?), and laughing too ridiculously at funny stuff that he didn’t understand. I was not happy with him at all. I even wished I had left him at home – but only for a fleeting moment.

I did wonder, however, how this sweet boy who seems so concerned about the spiritual welfare of others could be so bad at church. This child who loves Jesus and sees the blessings in the smallest things – how could he not want to be at church!? And as I wondered, I heard God asking me the same question, “Barbara, how can you say you love Me, even work for Me, and then not long for fellowship with My children? Why would you ever complain about being in My church?” It’s not often, but I confess that there are times when a little longer in bed or just a break at home sound good to me. Maybe I can be a little more empathetic with The Kid and a little more forgiving as well. After all, he is one of the greatest sources of my life lessons for now.

Elephants, Clowns, and Blessings

Saturday, July 14

The circus is in town. The really big circus with the real clowns that go to clown school. We really wanted to take The Kid. He is a big fan of circuses. The biggest one he has ever seen, though, is the one at the fair. As we struggled with how to spend our “entertainment” money, we concluded that there would be another circus on another day. Going to the movie would be just as fun.

The Kid had no idea what we had been thinking. Midday, a friend called who “just so happened” to have one extra ticket to the really big circus. The only catch was they had to pick him up in 10 minutes. The Kid was so excited that he was ready in 3 minutes! While helping him get ready, the dad in our house explained to The Kid that he had just been blessed and to remember to say thank you to our friends. Ever thoughtful and quick to speak, The Kid said to his dad, “Don’t you think we should just thank God directly?”

Little kid, Big words…………

Oh, and thank You, God, for when the friends blessed The Kid, they blessed us, too!

When I Grow Up…..

After spending almost a week apart, The Kid and I were catcing up on lost time. We played and read and sang together. Then it was bathtime. At his request, I stayed in the bathroom while he played in the tub after bathing. We talked and listened to Camp Bebop music.

Times like this (kinda like the times when you are driving and your kids are in the backseat chatting away, forgetting that an adult can hear them) hold the best talk. Half to himself and half to me, he said, “I guess I’ll be a preacher and an inventor when I grow up.” I couldn’t stand it; I had questions, the most obvious of which to me was, “What will you invent?”

As if that was the dumbest question I could have asked, he said, “I’ll invent new ways to tell other people about Jesus, of course.” Then he continued, “I’m working on a bubble machine. Bubbles will blow up and then they pop and you never see them again. But God never pops and goes away forever.”

I’m thinking…pretty good object lesson development, especially for a six year old. Following a brief pause, he looked up at me, pointed his finger and said, “And you can use that in your ministry.” Who even knew that he knew I had a ministry????

I can’t wait to see what God has planned for him! In the meantime, I’m asking God to help me see the ordinary everyday stuff as tools that can be used to share Jesus with others. And if I can't figure it out, I'll just ask The Kid!

It's All About Perspective

Somebody had the great idea that a churchwide picnic on July 1 would be lots of fun! (I might note here that that somebody wasn’t there for the fun!) At any rate, even with the huge probability that it would rain on our picnic, we packed up our ice chest and loaded the chairs and The Kid into our currently unairconditioned van for our evening of fun.

We got there early, staked our spot, and ate our sandwiches pretty quickly. (This turned out to be a good idea, because all uneaten food was covered with ants within 30 minutes. The ice chest was no deterrent for those reservoir ants!) Before we had finished the sandwiches, the first round of rain came through, sending everyone there to the covered pavilion. It was a quick gottcha kind of rain, over almost as quickly as it began. It didn’t take long to reclaim our spot and pick up conversation where we had left off.

It also didn’t take long for the next round of rain to come in. This one was different. It didn’t start with those warning drops that get bigger and faster; it came in as a huge wall, the “one-minute-you-are-dry, the-next-are-soaked” kind of wall. The only warning was the visible sighting of it as it invaded our picnic with one fell swoop! People ran for the pavilion once again….the picture of people running in reminded me of news clips you might see of people running to escape a tidal wave. The wall was not one of those straight up-and-down walls; it was one of those walls that blows in at an angle, such that it was hard to escape it, even under the pavilion.

As soon as I fond dry ground, I began to look around for The Kid. It didn’t take long for me to find him playing like a duck that’s just found water for the first time in a very long time! He was jumping in puddles, holding his mouth wide open catching the rain, and finding slippery muddy spots to “skate” on. I lived vicariously for a few moments. Then it began to occur to me that everyone else was telling their kids to stay dry and out of the wet and mud. Some were even watching Austin, then looking at me….I think they wanted me to tell him to stop. But I could not make him stop. There was no reason to – no thunder or lightening, he was already wet, and besides the only way to get to the car was going to be through the mud puddles.

When the downpour stopped, we decided to not wait to see if another one was coming. We grabbed our stuff and a wet, muddy Kid and loaded the unairconditioned van once more. As we were leaving, The Kid was positively glowing from all the fun he had. Then he said, “I wish God would make it rain every day!” My first thoughts were, “You don’t know what you’re asking for,” then “You’d get tired of that very quickly,” and then “You don’t have enough shoes!” It took a few more minutes for me to understand that it was not his perspective that was out of whack; it was mine.

From the beginning of the journey till the end, I saw all that was not so fun about the afternoon – the heat, the huge chance of rain, the ants, the rain itself, the ride in the unairconditioned van, the muddy clothes and shoes – get the picture? The Kid was grateful for the time together, the fact that he could see the rez from our picnic spot, the friends he played horseshoes with, the large bag of bar-b-que chips he got to walk around with, and the rain and all it brought. (He even wanted to stop and show some friends how wet and muddy he was!)

God, please do some serious surgery on my perspective. Give me the eyes and a heart of a child that somehow only see the great stuff. Thank You for the six-year-old teacher You’ve placed in my home.

"And a little child will lead them..."

This past week was VBS at our church. The Kid had a grand time. He really got into the missions offering competition and he loved the music. He was inspired also to ask almost everyone he saw outside of church, "Do you love Jesus?" On one day this week, we were in and out of the car several times running errands. We could not leave each place until he had asked the person attending us if they loved Jesus. Everyone of them said they did and most even muttered something about his cuteness.

I thought, after the first one, that he was very cute, too. I was so proud, as well. But after the second one, when I had to turn around and go back to the counter so he could ask, I realized how perfectly serious he was. He meant business. After the third or fourth one, I asked him, "What will you do if someone says 'No'?" His response: "I will just have to tell them about Jesus so they can love Him, too."

As I was sharing during VBS about our missions offering and talking about KD's sacrificial love and service for Jesus and how she is always looking for, even creating opportunities to tell others about Jesus, I realized that I have a bold missionary living in my own home. I also realized that I have the power to squash or encourage his desire to see others know Jesus. Most of all, I am reminded that I need to join him, not just watch him, as he tells others about Jesus.

Lord, please help me to have open eyes and heart for people who need You. "And a little child will lead them..."

A Little Hug Will Do It!

I am officially a full-fledged member of the sandwich generation - with a mom and a grandson both living in my home. I feel hugely responsible for the happiness and well-being of both - for two very different reasons....my mom, because she cared so unselfishly for me when I was growing up (and even still) and The Kid, because, well, he's a kid with flaked-out biological parents. What's been so fun to watch is the special relationship developing between the two of them. Gran's room is The Kid's haven (he even has a special sitting place on the end of her daybed) and, more than once, I've seen The Kid make Gran smile when no one else could have. (And for some reason, she always seems to have marshmellows and candy whenever he wants them. I don't seem to remember her having those when I was a kid!)

Well, Gran has been in the hospital alot lately and The Kid feels her absence in the house. He said, "Something feels different in this place" the second night she was gone. And tonight he called the hospital to ask when she was coming home.

One night, as he visited Gran in the hospital, he gently hugged her and watched the monitor to see if his hugs would make the numbers climb. He prayed over her silently bowing his head and talking to God in her behalf. Then he met her attending nurse. Before leaving the hospital, he had to talk to the nurse. He said, "I have a tip for you. If you will hug my Gran alot, her numbers will go up, and she will be better soon." A little later as we left, he reminded the nurse, "Remember my tip. But be gentle with her."

Both extremes - a kid and a great-grandma in one home. Some days it makes my life so busy and sometimes it's even a little hard to choose who I need to be with, but most days are a blessing as I watch from my vantage point each one learning from and teaching the other. The Bible is so clear about the older ones teaching the younger ones...I get to see that in my home everday!

My prayer is that God will slow me down enough to remember that gentle hugs make numbers go up and we all feel a little bit better afterwards.

Just Like Me.....

A wise person once said, "The footsteps a child follows are most likely to be the ones his parents thought they covered up."
Following is a personal case in point.....
Company was coming soon and the house needed cleaned up - quickly. The Kid offered to clean his room and off he ran. He even ran out to the laundry room to get an empty laundry basket to fill. Now I knew there were no dirty clothes in his room, but who was I to stop him and his zealous efforts to clean up? I was one proud mom! Proud, that is, until a short time later, I saw him dragging the laundry basket filled with the toys from his bedroom floor into the computer room. (That just happens to be the place I usually drag my stuff to hide it from company!) As he closed the door to the computer room and announced that he was done, there was nothing I could do but laugh out loud!
My momma always said "what goes around, comes around." I knew, at that moment, exactly what she meant.
My question is this: Why do kids do so well copying the bad habits we have while completely missing the great stuff we try to model?
I have two thoughts at this point:
1. You never know who's watching, so be careful to "be an example..." I want to be able to say, with confidence, like Paul did..."Look at how I live and copy me..."
2. You might be able to hide junk in the computer room, but you can't hide a thing from God! (Or your kids!)

Running Away

Today The Kid in our house got a big fat spankin'! And I do mean big!! Of course he asked for it, as surely as if he'd come right up to me and said, "Please spank me now!" He had been whining, complaining, arguing, and being generally disobedient all morning and into the afternoon long. Then he just had to hand me the last straw - you know, the one that broke the camel's back! Well, it was my back and I broke - all on his little booty! When I was done, he glared at me and said, "I am running away." I told him I would miss him. Then to really get to me, I guess, he said, "and I'm taking Harry." looong pause...."I mean it, I'm ruuning away and I'm really taking Harry."

Harry is the wild (yet sweet) dog that lives with us. Well, most of the time he does. He belongs to us and has had several tags with our address on them. We feed him and even had him fixed. Thing about Harry is - he has a straying kinda heart - he just can't be a one-family-dog. He spends a lot of time checking out his options. The other thing about Harry is that he is an escape artist. Knowing he has a straying heart, we keep him on a lead in the back yeard. But he manages to get away anyway, sometimes even dragging the wire or chain along with the stake, behind him. Just about everyone in the neighborhood knows he is ours and we hope they'll just keep bringing him back when they can catch him. oh...and he always comes home...eventually.

Well, you can imagine my most immediate thoughts when The Kid said he was running away and taking Harry. (To be perfectly honest, my first thought was, "No wait, you stay here and let me run away, pleeeeease.") I almost busted out laughing at the picture of those two running away together - a boy and his dog. To keep from cracking up - I quietly and seriously got up and walked back to my bedroom. And would you believe who showed up one minute later, saying "I changed my mind. I'm not going to run away." Next thing you know we were huggin' on each other and all was well.

I still want to laugh out loud, just thinking about it! Don't you just know that God sees my waywardness and smiles, maybe even laughs out loud, just thinkin' "That poor girl thinks she can run away from me and just look what she's dragging along behind her. Why, she'll never get anywhere like that!" Yet He loves me and loves for me to crawl up into His lap and say, "I think I'll stay here for now."

Thank you, God, for loving this runaway child!

The Shrinking Machine

Everyone who knows the kid at our house knows that he loves to invent things. Lately, he has been working overtime on a solar powered shrinking machine. He has built it using one of everything he could find, held together with lots and lots and lots of tape. An unsharpened red pencil is the on-off switch. It is not so big but it doesn't have to be. According to The Kid, the solar power is what makes it work so well. He worked on it for two days while I was out of town. He left me three voice mail messages about it.
When I got home, he had to show it to me. It was being tested...sitting on the chair with an apple in front of it. Since the apple had not shrunk, The Kid quickly figured there was not nearly enough solar power. He invites me to join him outside and finds the perfect sun-catching spot. Then he instructed me to stand in front of it. I was so afraid! Really! Not because I thought I'd shrink (oh how I wish!) but because I knew the machine wouldn't work and I didn't want to see his feelings hurt.
Well, I stood there as he flipped the red-wooden-pencil to turn on the machine. It did not work! He was not sad though. He immediately began to check it out. Oh no! The solar power was just not enough to make a machine like that run!
As I stood in front of that machine, I did think that it would be quite all right with me if I did shrink. Next I found myself considering the other parts of me that needed shrinking.....like my big bad attitude, my big need to be in control, and so much more that i really don't want other people to know.
So I am encouraging The Kid to stick with that machine until it works in every way, shrinking every one of my issues. If he could get it to work, he could be a young tycoon supporting us in a grand way!
In the meantime, I'll trust Jesus to shrink my problems and issues. After all, He IS the original Solar Power~~

Funny Things I Want to Remember

In the past few days, The Kid in our house has had some funny-to-us things to say. In my own attempt to remember them, I will post them here....

Sunday after church, I asked him to pick up the two pairs of shoes he had in the middle of the den floor. I asked him again and again. After the third request, sure he understood the seriousness of my request, I moved on into the kitchen. A minute later he called to me, "Mom, come look, I picked my shoes up." I walked back into the den. He was standing on a chair, holding his hoes up in the air! He said, "Get it? I picked my shoes UP!" Great..a smart aleck in the making!

Later that same afternoon, we went back to church. While I was preparing for a meeting, he was perfecting his "invisible machine" - a chenille stem twisted into a bracelet with a contruction paper pouch holding a AA battery. (He'd been working on its development since the Thursday before.) Over and over he would "turn it on" and ask if I could see him. I would pretend not to since, after all, it was an invisible machine. As I was concentrating on finishing something for an upcoming meeting, he asked again, "Hey Mom, can you see me?" I nonchalantly answered, "Of course I can." He walked over to me and said, in his most serious voice, "Mom, have you been lying to me? You told me you couldn't see me, but you really could, couldn't you?" OOPS!

Monday while on staff retreat, I called him. As we were talking, I saw a fox walk by. I told him about it. He said, "Quick, go look on the internet how to make a fox trap. Then catch it and bring it home!" Like I want a fox in my house!

As soon as I got home on Tuesday he ran up to me and said, "I will go to Carlos' house when pigs fly. That means never! Ha!" (Someone had explained that saying to him the night before and told me that he had already applied to visiting Carlos...it was funny to hear him say it himself, though.)

Tonight he watched a science show on PBS about the evolution of flowers. (He loves Science shows!) As soon as it was over, he came to me and said, "Mom, I have to go to the California Academy of Science right now." I said I didn't think that would be possible today, so he said, "I'll just go ask dad." He walked toward the back door because his dad was outside, then quickly backed up and said, "Where did I say I wanted to go?" He makes me laugh!

I have wondered more than once why God chose to put a child in our home at our age, but I am so glad He did. The Kid in our house reminds to laugh and not take ourselves so seriously. God has used this boy over and over to remind us that some things really are big deals (like cuddling and sitting and listening, making eye contact and laughing at made-up jokes) and some things are not big deals after all (like muddy shoes or playing games by different rules). God has also used this sweet thing to remind us that He is a sovereign God, a righteous Judge, the author of Truth, and the finisher of His plans. We look in the eyes of The Kid and see our KING!

Bear Hugs

The Kid in our house loves teddy bears. I do not think I've ever met a boy who loves bears the way he does. At last count, he had 19. They all have names and personalities. There is Heavy, the very large bear and Little Brother(pictured here), Heavy's brother. There's Chocolate and Licorice. Then there are the triplets - Madro from Fadro 1, 2, and 3. His first bear was named Sleepy. Sleepy Bear got lost on The Kid's first trip to Atlanta. Ever since, he hesitates before taking anything he likes with him to Atlanta. We are still praying for Sleepy's return.

The Kid is so very proud of his bear collection. He lines them up on the couch regularly and counts them. He has serious talks with them. They are his friends. They have been to the mall (only a few at a time), gone on vacations, eaten all kinds of food, and played in the park. They have heard the deepest thoughts and hurts of The Kid and they have always managed to help him feel better.

I am glad for his furry friends. I especially look forward to the day I unpack the box of bears that I will save for his own child! Yep, that's what it is all about - parenting for the day it all "comes around."

Meanwhile, I will enjoy every day of being the "grandma" of 19 fuzzy friends and the fun they bring to our home!

Easters Past

Today I wore my old black pants, a cute black (hand-me-down) sweater, and sensible (that means comfy but not too cute) black shoes to church on Easter Sunday because it was just too cold to wear the lightweight linen dress I've been saving for Easter. I thought, for a very brief time, "no one wears their old clothes on Easter Sunday to church...what if someone sees me? I am wearing my old clothes." (Don't get me wrong...I've worn not-so-new stuff on Easter, but I usually went out of my way to make it look fresh by adding new accessories or shoes.) But then I remembered that it's a new day and no one will care if I am not wearing a new dress. They will just be glad I am here.

I remember Easters in the not-so-distant past when I would have died before wearing something old and from the wrong season on Easter Sunday. I am so glad that, at least for me, those days are in the past.

When I was a kid, my mom always sewed my Easter dresses. They almost always matched the dresses my sisters wore. Of course, there were matching hats, shoes, and gloves to top it all off. Sometimes even my mom had a matching dress, if she had enough time and fabric left. I remember feeling sad for her if she didn't get to wear a new dress on Easter.

Wonder what I would have thought of her if she had worn old black pants and a sweater to church on Easter Sunday?

The main thing to me is truly that I serve a great big God who is alive and has set me free! With Him and in Him all things are made new and fresh! He clothes the earth with indescribable beauty and provides all my needs as well. Who am I that He would care for me? I am His child and He loves me! Yeah and amen!!!

A Quiet Place

Yesterday, on Sesame Street, Ernie visited his special quiet place where he goes to think. He even had a song to sing about his special place under an apple tree. After that song was over, it occurred to me to ask The Kid if he had his own special quiet place. He nodded his head and pointed outside...then he said very softly, "with my dog." "What do you do in your quiet place?" I asked. "I just think," was his reply.

Now for those of you who have met The Dog, you will understand when I say that "with the dog" is not exactly the quietest place around our house. In fact the dog is very loud and busy, but for some unexplainable reason, he will sit still and quietly with The Kid. (This is only after, of course, several minutes of wild running and jumping and barking - and the dog is pretty loud, too!!!)

All this to say, I remembered today that we all need quiet times and places to have those. I am also reminded that, in this day of much activity and busy schedules, we must be sure to allow for our kids to have times and places of quiet so they can just sit and think. I believe that "sitting and thinking" may be becoming a lost art.

What about you? Do you have a "quiet place?" Do your kids?
There may be more wisdom to be found on Sesame Street than we knew!

April Showers

It's the second day of a new month and I feel the need to post something to get this month started.

I've been thinking that since it rained on April 1, that is a good sign of the beautiful things to come. The rain will freshen and clean everything. It will also feed and nourish things. And it washes away the yukky stuff. Yep, rain gets a bad rap, I do believe. But, just think about it...without rain there is no food and there are no flowers. And the yukky stuff just sticks around, even piling up. Rain takes care of it all - the necessary and the frills! Isn't that like God - to think of it all!

So I'm thinking that a little rain in my life could do all the same stuff - freshen me by renewing my comittment to God; wash away some of the yukky stuff that seems to pile up, and it feeds my soul as I am reminded that by the power of the Spirit, I am not only made clean and fresh, I am made holy and accecptable. All that with a little rain!

Bring it on---I'm ready for the showers!

have you ever wondered???

why is it that when you keep your kids up late, they still wake up early in the morning?

why does your husband never hear you tell him stuff? (and exactly how young does this begin?)

why it's ok for him to tell you how to drive, but if you tell him, it's called "backseat driving?"

why do birds poop on the car you just washed?

why do yukky things happen to special people?

and, conversely, why do yukky people sometimes seem to rake in the good stuff?

why you can't wait to get older only to find out that younger was an ok place to be?

why do people pay money to camp in the woods where there is no potty, stove, airconditioner, or tv?

why we wait till we're at the proverbial "end of our rope" before we acknowledge we're dangling and quickly losing grip?

and why, time after time, we try to figure things out for ourselves and lay out our own plans before asking God for His plans and direction, knowing all the time that He was just waiting for us to ask?

i'm just wondering..................what about you?

Trouble

Today has been a bad day for the kid in our house. He said he got in trouble for being a tattle tale at school, then he got in trouble for running exactly where I told him not to, soon followed by more big trouble for the kid when he did not obey "right away, all the way, and with a happy heart." He spent time sitting on his bed alone and in time out. He even got two spankings.

At the end of the day, I said, "You've had a bad day, haven't you?" His reply: "What do you mean? I didn't have a bad day!"

Either my discipline of him was very forgetful and will have no impact on the immediate future and the choices he will make OR he feels so secure and loved and, knowing that he deserved it all, has determined that he will be a better person for it!


Here's what I think.....I need to
1. spank harder
2. explain better
3. and always help him to remember that he is accepted and has a place where he can be the king of mess-ups and still be loved.

What do you think???

5 Things I've Never Like about Myself

1. My hair. It has always been thin, frizzy, and naturally curly. Even when I have been able to get it to look decent in my own bathroom in front of my own mirror, once I step outside, it’s gone. I’ve ironed it, grown it long, cut it short, rolled it on pink spongies and huge plastic rollers. I’ve moussed, gelled, and purchased an array of products all in a feeble attempt to control it, shape it, and make it look like the girls on the covers of magazines – all to no avail. Now I’m settling for my own style. Maybe others will want to photograph and copy it one day……
2. That I am so jumpy. Most everyone who knows me has witnessed it over and over again. Even their children know it about me. I can know for sure that someone is standing behind a door about to try to scare me, and I will still jump and probably even scream out loud when it happens. One can only imagine what I’m like when I don’t know that someone is behind the door. (Mean people have found great pleasure in creating new ways to make me jump and scream. Even meaner ones encourage their kids to do the same.)
3. My round belly. Even at my smallest, I maintained a round belly. It is not really my fault. My mom and her mom, too, have really skinny arms, fingers, and legs yet they both have little round bellies. I’m thinking about carrying their photos with me and just holding them up beside me so maybe everyone will just automatically know that my round belly is not my fault. They will just say to themselves, “Oh, that poor girl. She can’t be blamed for her round belly. It’s clearly a generational thing.” And if they are from the south, they will most likely add to that, “Bless her heart.” (and we all know what that means!)
4. Potty issue. I do not like that when I potty (yes, potty can be a verb!) my pee makes a loud echoing kind of noise. I can't hide in the potty, everyone hears where I am. I’ve always wanted to be one of those with the silent sprays…it just seems more feminine. Enough said about that…..
5. My toenails. With exception of my big toe which has a pretty normal one, all of my toes have tiny, curved nails. I could never have a French nail pedicure on my toes! Woe is me!

I am so grateful that God in his wisdom saw fit to have his men write scripture like “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” and “I can do all things through Christ…” and “I know the plans I have for you…” Otherwise I would be a self-consumed, paranoid, suicidal nut!
Thank you, God, that I am no accident and that You love me just like I am. Thank You that I am a work in progress and that, as your child, I really am a promise – a possibility!

Alms for The Kid

As we were leaving the mall one day during the Christmas holidays, The Kid and I saw a man sitting on the sidewalk outside the door. He was playing a harmonica and had his cap sitting out in front of him. I quickly explained what the man was doing and almost as quickly, The Kid said, "give me all of your cash." His sweet heart wanted to help the man out.

But his brain took over and as soon as we got home, he ran to his room. After shuffling through his closet, he came out with his own felt man's hat filled with coins from his bank. He said, "Now I have a hat and some cash. All I need is an instrument to play." He remembered the electronic keyboard he owns, grabbed it, and dashed out of the front door. Before too long, he had the keyboard set to play automatically and very loudly. He sat behind it with his hat in front of it. After a few minutes he came inside completely frustrated because no one was stopping to drop money in the hat. His plan was to move closer to the street; my plan was to fill his hat with all the stray coins in the house. That was not going to be enough for him though.

The next day after church, he set up shop once again. I asked him how long he was going to stay out there. His reply: "when I get enough money." "Enough for what?" I ask. "Enough to buy all the Scooby Do stuff there is!"

Needless to say....although he does have a small collection of Scooby Do stuff, it's not even nearly complete. There just wasn't enough music for that!

Fairies, Leprechauns, and Other Flying Things

All kinds of magic takes place in our house at night! Most of the "magic" was created in response to a fear the kid in our house has/had. For example.....

The Toenail Leprechaun collects ziploc bags containing trimmed nails. He always leaves a prize in return. The story goes that leprechauns are unable to grow their own nails, so they depend on the generosity of kids like ours. The TL has turned an otherwise traumatic life experience into something to look forward to. The Kid still doesn't like to have his toenails trimmed, but he is so much more cooperative now than when the TL began to make his visits.

Then there is the Sleepy Fairy. Hers is a tricky job. She can only leave a prize if the kid stays in his own bed all night long. So she has to check back at sunrise; if the kid is still there, she leaves a treasure under his pillow.

Last Sunday, the Tooth Fairy made her first visit to our house. She left dollar bills under the pillow. Of course, she had to check with the Sleepy Fairy to see which pillow to visit.

The Kid already was certain of Santa's ability to fly. Now he has added a whole menagerie of others to the "Flying Friends" list. And because he is getting older and smarter, he has inevitable questions. He now wants to know where the Sand Man fits into the picture. (I told him the Sand Man is married to the Sleepy Fairy!) He also wants to know if one takes precedence over the other...for example, what if he loses a tooth and sleeps in his own bed all night? Will he get two prizes? Will the Sleepy Fairy even leave something if the TL has already come? Is there a possibility that he could get two prizes and some dollars on the same night? Could one of the Flying Friends bring all of the stuff for the others?

Maybe this is just a bit too bizarre for some, but for the kid that lives in our house, it all makes perfect sense. So until the friends all fly away, I guess we'll continue to play the games!

Prayers from the heart

The Bible is clear about this one thing - God wants us to come to Him like children with the kind of pure, unaldulterated faith they have. There have got to be some limits, though. For example, what about when The Kid prays for snow on one of the hottest days we've had in months?

I gently explained we could not pray for snow because it would not happen on that day. His reply, "You won't know until you pray for it!"

I believe he may be right....maybe I'll pray for a beach in my backyard!

The One(s) That Got Away

Saturday was a great day for the child in our house. He had a birthday party to attend at Pizza Inn - friends, pizza, and games - it doesn't get any better than that for a 5 year old boy!

When it was time to leave the party, he was trying desperately to untie the balloon from the back of his chair. Every grownup around him was trying to talk him into a different balloon. But he had become attached to his red one. The fact that it was deflating and dragging on the ground as a result only seemed to endear him more to his balloon. He would not be talked into leaving without it! A well-meaning dad, however, convinced him that he needed a perky yellow balloon as well. As long as he had the red one, additional helium-filled balloons could only make life better as far as he was concerned. So while I carried the treat bag and leftover pizza box, he walked out the door with a balloon tied to each wrist.

As fate would have it, the wind was fierce on this party day. The little red balloon never had a chance! The wind whipped it right off the end of its curly string and, because it had lost most of its life already, it bounced on the ground right out into the parking lot. Then it scooted right under a moving 4X4 pickup truck, and continued across the pavement and up over a small hill, oblivious to the fact that its owner was totally grief-stricken and already mourning the lost life of his "friend."

All the child could do was cry - that heartbreaking, my-life-is-over kind of cry - the kind of cry that makes a mom want to run out in front of moving vehicles to rescue an inanimate object whose lifespan was already doomed.

Then a friend of the child came out with his own perky yellow balloon. That sweet boy and his dad offered words of encouragement to little avail. Then the friend, somehow knowing just what was needed, gave to my child his own balloon. Through his tears, the child expressed his gratitude to his friend and then carefully, protectively walked with his 2 perky yellow ballons to the van.

We travelled back towards home, making a couple of stops along the way. At stop #1, I needed to load some things into the van. As soon as I opened the door, one balloon was swept out by that vicious wind. The boy was so sad. He was sure that if I went back to the pizza place, they would give him another balloon. Using my limited command of psychology, he survived the second balloon loss of the day and decided that one good balloon was better than none at all.

Well that lone balloon survived the next few errands of the day with no close calls. and believe me, I was paying close attention to it. The last stop of the day lasted a longer while than the others. When it came time to leave, I opened the van door wide enough for the child and 3 cousins to load up. As I was checking seatbelts, the 3 year old cousin began to point to the sky. Obviously he saw something in the distance he wanted everyone else to see, too. So the eyes of all kids in the van obliged. Now all moms know that the only floating balloon a child enjoys is the one lost or released by someone else. The owner of the balloon is seldom amused.

What is it with balloons? They pop,deflate, or fly away way too soon. Their extremely short lifespans make them NOT the best toys for kids. My new great idea is to try to convince moms everywhere to agree to stop doing balloons a birthday parties. I will if you will...............

Not Kidstuff...

There are just some things kids should never have to know or think about. I'm thinking of things like how much the house note is, how we're going to pay for the car repairs, why otherwise good people do bad things, and that there are people in life who will let you down. Kids ought to get to be kids and worry only about things like where to get mud when it hasn't rained for days, how to talk mom into chocolate instead of green beans for supper, and how long a lego structure can be saved before someone knocks it down.

Lately, I've met too many kids who have to worry about big things like rejection, being ignored by a parent, abuse, neglect, and plain old fear of people who should be people they can count on. One of them lives in my house. As he faces and deals with such "big boy" stuff, it is becoming more and more difficult to speak about loving forgiveness for grownups who do things that even this 5 year old child knows are not so smart.

If I am certain of anything in life, it is this.....nothing happens to a Child of God by accident; nothing suprises Him, catches Him off guard, or causes Him to second-guess Himself. I am sure of the victory that will be His. I am sure that the last word belongs to Him. And I am sure that somehow the yukkiness of life will be used for good in the lives of these kids.

I just want to know how and why and when......and I want to know it now! But I'm working on waiting.............maybe I'll get it someday. I just hope it won't be too late!

Family

Family…a little word with so much packed into it. In that one word is all the love, protection, security, what’s-mine-is-yours, I’ll-fight-for-you-and-I know-you’ll-fight-for-me stuff a person could ever want or need. At the very same time, thoughts of family can conjure up more sadness, hurt, disappointment, and heartache than could ever happen anywhere else.
I know from 50+ years of experience that my hugest cheerleaders come from the group of people I call my family. I know, also from experience, that the people who can hurt me the deepest (or be hurt by me) come from that same exact group of people. I am sure God knew what He was doing when He created and ordained family (although I wondered about that more than once during the years of sharing a bedroom with younger sisters)….He knew if we could work out life there, we could do it anywhere. He knew that these would be ones whose love we would both cherish and stomp on in the same day. He knew that if we could learn to love these people while living in tight quarters with them, that we would somehow be better equipped for life in general. He knew that living with these people would be the perfect place to practice unconditional love, seventy-times-seven kind of forgiveness, unmerited grace, and goodness whether deserved or not.
So is that all family is…a training camp of sorts? I say NO! It’s that place where “for better or worse,” we dare to be ourselves while, at the same time, we are stretching to be better selves. It is the place where people see that “better self” long before it may appear in public. And in that place, the people who love us respond to us based on their love for us, not the way we treated them, what was withheld from them, or even how we ignored them while looking for love and attention elsewhere.
Family – my life is rich and meaningful because of mine, and I’m willing to bet that there are more treasures waiting to be discovered.

P.S. I wrote these words following a family reunion held a few weeks ago. It was attended by my two sisters (one on furlough from Latvia), one of my two brothers, our spouses, our kids and a couple of grandkids. It was all in honor of and especially for my mom.

"I Can't Want To..."

These words are used several times a day by my precious grandson Johnathan – anytime he doesn’t want to do what is being asked of him.

I have found myself thinking these same words - more than once since he was last here. The truth is if we are going to be honest, we all probably do many things each day while, in our heart of hearts, we are saying, “I can’t want to do this!”
For example……
The toilet needs swished……I can’t want to!
The 5 baskets of clean laundry need folded and put away……I can’t want to!
The kitchen floor needs mopped – again……I can’t want to!
The dog needs a bath….I really can’t want to!
The rabbit cage needs cleaned out (still!)……I can’t want to!

You get the idea…Try it out! It sounds a whole lot better than saying “No!” “Not now!” “You can’t make me!”

P.S. The caption for the photo: "I can't want to be clean!" (Johnathan and Austin LOVE the garden and its piles of great dirt!)

I Am Loved!

Today we were having a casual frontseat/backseat conversation when Austin, comparing me to some other woman, said to me, “Momma, you are the most beautiful woman in the world. No wait, (long pause) yeah, you are the most beautiful woman in the world!”

(By the way, I remember feeling the same way about my own mom – in fact, I think I still do!)

As we were leaving church later on, we were busy chatting about random things when, in response to something I said, he said, “Momma, you don’t have much brains. But don’t worry, you’re still beautiful.”

Then, in the car again – another one of those great frontseat/backseat conversations – in response to my compliments about his behavior in church, he said, “Momma, if there wasn’t something about safety, I’d jump out of my seatbelt and give you the biggest hug!” (I’m thinking - seatbelts are overrated sometimes.)

This was followed by another precious exchange:
A: Is one hundred thousand a number?
Me: Yep, it’s a big number. I’d like to have one hundred thousand pennies,
A: Well, I can’t help you out there. I don’t have that much money in my room. How about one hundred thousand kisses?

Wow, who needs fame and fortune? Not me! I’ve got a five year old boy!

Basketball

Austin plays basketball. Well, he plays as well as any 5 year old who can’t run and dribble at the same time and who is afraid the ball might hurt if it hits him. It’s more accurate to say that Austin plays. He knew none of the other players on his team when he started 3 months ago, but he’s already been invited to their birthday parties and has invited every one of them to come to his house to play. He’s even had conversations with several of their parents – including the dad/coach of a child on the team they scrimmage with! He has learned quite a bit though:
Defense is when you hold your arms up in front of someone!

Offense is when you say “I’m open” – even if you’re not!
When someone falls down, you should stop and check on them. It really doesn't matter which team they are on.
When you are guarding someone, it’s good to get their name and find out when their birthday is.
The coaches on the other team can be your friend, too.
When the buzzer sounds, it could be your turn to sit down.
Cheerleaders are nice, but they really should say your name when they cheer for you!
Popcorn and water are great after-game treats!
When you get something right, it’s good to find mom and dad and give/get a thumbs-up!
Basketball can make you very tired!
If you ever want to make a basket, you have to learn how to bend your knees.
If you take the ball away from someone, they might not like you anymore.
The white star is the best!

His mom has learned a few things, too!
Wearing number 8 for the Panthers, standing at 3 foot-8, is the sweetest blessing a mom could ask for.
It’s good to cheer for the other kids, too.
It’s not right to watch your ipod during practice. All eyes must be on the child!
When it’s your turn for snacks, bring good stuff and, remember, the extras belong to the child!
The child hears your voice over the voices of twenty other parents!
The child depends on your help when trying to figure out which goal is his!
The white star is the best!

Life is too short to worry about who wins and loses. The big winners are the ones who discover that doing their best for Jesus is all that will ever matter! I pray that God will help me remember this when the child does figure out that there are people keeping score.