On this day two years ago, God smiled down from heaven and wrapped a piece of Himself in the flesh of a sweet baby girl. Tori makes me laugh and smile all at once. She is definitely her mother's child and that's ok with me, too! Every life she is a part of is happier and sweeter and so blessed just to know her.
Happy Birthday, Tori!
Grandmommy loves you!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Right Away, All the Way, and with a Happy Heart
For several years now, my standard for obedience for The Kid in my house has been to obey “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.” (I am so grateful to the mom who taught it to me. It makes me remember that we as moms should always be supporting one another.) Lately, however, I’ve been wondering if it would be enough for me to expect one or the other of these standards and let the others go. Otherwise I may never reach this lofty parenting goal. For example, if I call The Kid away from the computer, is it enough that he comes immediately? Should it bother me that he comes stomping and growling at me? Or if I send him to straighten his room, should I be content with the fact that he is not complaining even though he doesn’t even begin the task of picking up his stuff? Maybe I should lower my standards because, after all, he is only six!
After pondering this for some time now, I have become convinced of these three things:
1. God- through my friend- revealed the standard. It is His expectation, not just for my child, but for me as well.
2. I’m never going to get what I don’t model. Does my child see me completing my tasks “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart?” In other words, if I want to see it in my child, I’d better BE it first.
3. Sometimes obedience comes more easily and completely if the request is wrapped in encouragement, praise, and confidence in the child’s ability to perform the task. I find the same is true for myself. I am more willing to go the extra mile for someone who believes in me.
I have the proverbial head-hitting hammer I use often. It even comes with Bible verses like, “Honor your mother so you can live a long life!” and “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might,” and “Work like you’re doing it for Jesus…” I am discovering, as a result of this pondering, that it is so much easier to bonk someone else on the head (especially if the head belongs to someone shorter thatn me!) than it is to stop and take a look at myself. So that’s what I’m off to do and you can be sure that I’ll be more intentional about obeying God “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.”
After pondering this for some time now, I have become convinced of these three things:
1. God- through my friend- revealed the standard. It is His expectation, not just for my child, but for me as well.
2. I’m never going to get what I don’t model. Does my child see me completing my tasks “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart?” In other words, if I want to see it in my child, I’d better BE it first.
3. Sometimes obedience comes more easily and completely if the request is wrapped in encouragement, praise, and confidence in the child’s ability to perform the task. I find the same is true for myself. I am more willing to go the extra mile for someone who believes in me.
I have the proverbial head-hitting hammer I use often. It even comes with Bible verses like, “Honor your mother so you can live a long life!” and “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might,” and “Work like you’re doing it for Jesus…” I am discovering, as a result of this pondering, that it is so much easier to bonk someone else on the head (especially if the head belongs to someone shorter thatn me!) than it is to stop and take a look at myself. So that’s what I’m off to do and you can be sure that I’ll be more intentional about obeying God “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.”
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Help with Homework
Everyday after school, I give The Kid 5 minutes (well, we call it 5 minutes - it's usually more like 15 or 20) and then we sit down together to do homework. After researching the homework issue I know that The Kid has more than most anyone we know. We spend a minimum of an hour and up to two hours every night except Wednesdays and Fridays. (And, don't get me wrong, it's not that he doesn't have homework on Wednesdays or Fridays, it's just that we choose to give him a break. We only do what has to be done to squeak by on those days.) Anyway, The Kid has this school desk and he pulls it close to me, we get out the homework box and the fun begins! And it goes on and on and on and on.......
My job is to encourage him along on the independent stuff, make him write the answers neatly, listen to him read, and then to call out all the stuff he has to study for upcoming tests.
All this to say that it occurs to me that he never once has asked me to give him this much focused attention. I just do it and have done it since the beginning of the year. (He has, however, on more than one ocassion thanked me!) I don't mind it so much except that I'd rather spend the time with him walking in the park or reading what we choose.
Well yesterday we had guests over after school whose mom is in the hospital and so we had homework time all together. There were somed serious differences in their tasks. Each one of the other boys had only one worksheet, The Kid had 4. They had no required reading assignment so I made them each read a book, cause The Kid had to read two stories in one book and begin a book report on another. They did not have a list of three tests to study for on Friday either. During the course of doing homework, one of the guests asked, "Do you help him with his homework everyday? We do ours by ourselves."
At first I thought I might be a terrible mom for sitting with The Kid each day, but before I said anything, The Kid looked up long enough to reply matter-of-factly, "Of course she does." No other words just a quiet affirming acceptance of the fact that I will always be sitting in the chair beside him.
I started thinking that I am so glad God hangs around me even when I don't ask. I can count on the fact that when I do pull my chair up, He will have time for me. But bigger than that I can know that He never leaves me alone to figure stuff out on my own.
Thank you, God, for helping me with my "homework." Sometimes the assignments seem so big, but i am grateful that I can count on you to be sitting there, helping me and encouraging me even when I forget to ask.
My job is to encourage him along on the independent stuff, make him write the answers neatly, listen to him read, and then to call out all the stuff he has to study for upcoming tests.
All this to say that it occurs to me that he never once has asked me to give him this much focused attention. I just do it and have done it since the beginning of the year. (He has, however, on more than one ocassion thanked me!) I don't mind it so much except that I'd rather spend the time with him walking in the park or reading what we choose.
Well yesterday we had guests over after school whose mom is in the hospital and so we had homework time all together. There were somed serious differences in their tasks. Each one of the other boys had only one worksheet, The Kid had 4. They had no required reading assignment so I made them each read a book, cause The Kid had to read two stories in one book and begin a book report on another. They did not have a list of three tests to study for on Friday either. During the course of doing homework, one of the guests asked, "Do you help him with his homework everyday? We do ours by ourselves."
At first I thought I might be a terrible mom for sitting with The Kid each day, but before I said anything, The Kid looked up long enough to reply matter-of-factly, "Of course she does." No other words just a quiet affirming acceptance of the fact that I will always be sitting in the chair beside him.
I started thinking that I am so glad God hangs around me even when I don't ask. I can count on the fact that when I do pull my chair up, He will have time for me. But bigger than that I can know that He never leaves me alone to figure stuff out on my own.
Thank you, God, for helping me with my "homework." Sometimes the assignments seem so big, but i am grateful that I can count on you to be sitting there, helping me and encouraging me even when I forget to ask.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Lesson Learned on the Playground
Today was filled with fun. The Kid is out of school and his cousins are here from Texas for the week. He has introduced the four year old boy cousin to internet computer games (Webkinz and National Geographic for Kids are his current faves) and pushed the buggy filled with twin baby dolls and a cute purse for his soon-to-be-two-year-old girl cousin. There was lots more fun, too…popping long sheets of bubble wrap (my personal favorite), dancing to Crocodile Rock, making very large spider webs with scotch tape (each boy used a whole roll!) and then a fun trip to the park.
By the time we went to the park, the boys were getting a little tired of each other. The Kid said from the back seat to his cousin who was in the way back seat (strategic placement was my idea), “Hey why don’t you run one way in the park and I will run another way. Then we don’t even have to see each other.” The boy cousin was agreeable and totally oblivious to the motives of The Kid. (It was fun to see that when the cousin was feeling bullied by another kid on the playground, he ran straight to Austin, who searched out the offender and talked to him.)
Now for the real point of this whole story…..
Not long before we left the park, The Kid ran over to me and said, “Quick, I need one of those ABC things. I am talking to that kid over there about Jesus.” (He was referring to a tract we use at church to tell kids about how to be saved.) Not 15 minutes later, we were traveling home and The Kid, quite irritated by the boy cousin who was singing a Christmas song very loudly, lashed out very rudely at the cousin. Among the really smart “mommy stuff” I had to say was this: “You were just telling a stranger about Jesus and here is your cousin, a part of your family, getting nothing that sounds like Jesus from you.”
Even as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that (in the words of a wise teacher I worked with a long time ago) I had one finger pointing in accusation at The Kid and four others pointing back at me! How often do I speak “Jesus” in public and moments later I am speaking harshly and rudely with my family? It’s way more than I care to admit, but you can be sure that the short lecture that followed – the one about what a gift family is and how we need to treasure our family and speak words of loving kindness that build them up – well, those words were mostly for me.
By the time we went to the park, the boys were getting a little tired of each other. The Kid said from the back seat to his cousin who was in the way back seat (strategic placement was my idea), “Hey why don’t you run one way in the park and I will run another way. Then we don’t even have to see each other.” The boy cousin was agreeable and totally oblivious to the motives of The Kid. (It was fun to see that when the cousin was feeling bullied by another kid on the playground, he ran straight to Austin, who searched out the offender and talked to him.)
Now for the real point of this whole story…..
Not long before we left the park, The Kid ran over to me and said, “Quick, I need one of those ABC things. I am talking to that kid over there about Jesus.” (He was referring to a tract we use at church to tell kids about how to be saved.) Not 15 minutes later, we were traveling home and The Kid, quite irritated by the boy cousin who was singing a Christmas song very loudly, lashed out very rudely at the cousin. Among the really smart “mommy stuff” I had to say was this: “You were just telling a stranger about Jesus and here is your cousin, a part of your family, getting nothing that sounds like Jesus from you.”
Even as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that (in the words of a wise teacher I worked with a long time ago) I had one finger pointing in accusation at The Kid and four others pointing back at me! How often do I speak “Jesus” in public and moments later I am speaking harshly and rudely with my family? It’s way more than I care to admit, but you can be sure that the short lecture that followed – the one about what a gift family is and how we need to treasure our family and speak words of loving kindness that build them up – well, those words were mostly for me.
Here Comes the Ring Bearer
This past weekend The Kid was the Ring Bearer for one of my nephews. He loves this nephew and his new wife. Whenever they come to visit, they are so attentive as he catches them up on his latest inventions and current thoughts. He also loves Jack, their dog! All that to say, he made it clear to me (and others along the way) that he really does not like this job (he’s done it once before) but that he would be willing to do it just for them. Nothing about a wedding excites him – performing for an audience (He prefers small audiences focused only on him.), standing still for a long time (“You don’t know how tired your legs can get just standing there!”), walking beside a girl (“I’ll walk beside her but I will not touch her.”), watching people kiss (“That is just plain disgusting!”), and smiling for all those pictures – he can do without it all.
He did discover that there were some parts of a wedding that were actually pretty good. Like the chocolate fountain with marshmellows and wooden skewers. And cameras lying around everywhere just waiting to be used. There was all that free punch and a great feast of all kinds of foods. There were some other kids his size to run around with. There was also the big water fountain and the spiral staircase. And then there was spending the night in a hotel room!
I was quite proud of The Kid. He played his part well, even waiting until after the I-do’s before untucking his shirt! He smiled on cue and walked beside the girl without making faces. He was kind to the old people and made the younger ones smile. He passed out hugs generously. He even came home with the address of a new friend who lives in Kentucky! (He has big plans for them to be new best friends. He didn’t know how to give the boy his own email address, so he gave him the email address of Gruffy – his Webkinz!)
On the way home as we were discussing the wedding and how well he did, I asked if he was glad he did it. His response, “Of course, I wouldn’t travel 200 miles to be in just anybody’s wedding!” The Kid really does love this particular bride and “broom!”
All of this reminds me…….
One day The Groom of all grooms will come for His bride and I think He will also say something like, “I love you and I am glad to be coming now for you. I wouldn’t travel this far for just anyone!” He really does love His bride, and that is one wedding feast I’ll not want to miss!
He did discover that there were some parts of a wedding that were actually pretty good. Like the chocolate fountain with marshmellows and wooden skewers. And cameras lying around everywhere just waiting to be used. There was all that free punch and a great feast of all kinds of foods. There were some other kids his size to run around with. There was also the big water fountain and the spiral staircase. And then there was spending the night in a hotel room!
I was quite proud of The Kid. He played his part well, even waiting until after the I-do’s before untucking his shirt! He smiled on cue and walked beside the girl without making faces. He was kind to the old people and made the younger ones smile. He passed out hugs generously. He even came home with the address of a new friend who lives in Kentucky! (He has big plans for them to be new best friends. He didn’t know how to give the boy his own email address, so he gave him the email address of Gruffy – his Webkinz!)
On the way home as we were discussing the wedding and how well he did, I asked if he was glad he did it. His response, “Of course, I wouldn’t travel 200 miles to be in just anybody’s wedding!” The Kid really does love this particular bride and “broom!”
All of this reminds me…….
One day The Groom of all grooms will come for His bride and I think He will also say something like, “I love you and I am glad to be coming now for you. I wouldn’t travel this far for just anyone!” He really does love His bride, and that is one wedding feast I’ll not want to miss!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
School Projects - Good for Both of Us
The Kid had to do a project on a famous American. He chose Thomas Edison for five reasons: (1) he has a book about Thomas which he loves and has memorized, (2) Thomas was an inventor which makes him an automatic hero for The Kid, (3) his middle name is Alva - for some reason The Kid thinks that is hilarious, (4) he quit school when he was seven, which also makes him a hero, then he set up a science lab in his basement, and (5) he’s white. (The Kid is in the minority in a huge way in his class at school and he’s ending February just a little tired of famous black Americans. He says, “It’s time for these kids to know that there are famous white people, too.”)
Well, the teacher in me wants to work these projects my way and the creator-inventor in him has waaaaaay different thoughts in mind. I want him to write sentences; he wants to paint on poster board. I want to tape a filament on cardboard; he wants a whole electrical station set-up. I want him to print the sentences on tablet paper; he wants to use the computer. So we compromised. He gets to type and we don’t build an electric station. I cringed as he taped down the pictures of Edison’s inventions. I think they need to be straight and in some kind of order. He thinks that overlapping and hanging off the board is great. I fought for neatly lined up pictures, even trying to tape down a couple when he wasn’t looking. Finally he said, “This is my project. Let me do it my way.” It took everything within me to just hand him pieces of tape and let him do it his way. When he got finished taping the last picture on the poster board, he said, “Look at this. Now you can clap.”
You already know that while I was handing him tape, God was teaching me. Sometimes it is right and good and needful for me to direct the steps of The Kid, but it is equally important for me to let him spread his wings while still in the safety of the nest. Sometimes I must insist that he obey and do things the way I say, but some things are really not that big a deal. Sometimes I must set aside what I like and let him figure things out for himself. Sometimes being a “hands-on” mom means sitting on my hands while speaking words of affirmation and encouragement.
By the way, I did clap. But I have to confess that after he went to bed I made just a few slight adjustments on the board.....
Well, the teacher in me wants to work these projects my way and the creator-inventor in him has waaaaaay different thoughts in mind. I want him to write sentences; he wants to paint on poster board. I want to tape a filament on cardboard; he wants a whole electrical station set-up. I want him to print the sentences on tablet paper; he wants to use the computer. So we compromised. He gets to type and we don’t build an electric station. I cringed as he taped down the pictures of Edison’s inventions. I think they need to be straight and in some kind of order. He thinks that overlapping and hanging off the board is great. I fought for neatly lined up pictures, even trying to tape down a couple when he wasn’t looking. Finally he said, “This is my project. Let me do it my way.” It took everything within me to just hand him pieces of tape and let him do it his way. When he got finished taping the last picture on the poster board, he said, “Look at this. Now you can clap.”
You already know that while I was handing him tape, God was teaching me. Sometimes it is right and good and needful for me to direct the steps of The Kid, but it is equally important for me to let him spread his wings while still in the safety of the nest. Sometimes I must insist that he obey and do things the way I say, but some things are really not that big a deal. Sometimes I must set aside what I like and let him figure things out for himself. Sometimes being a “hands-on” mom means sitting on my hands while speaking words of affirmation and encouragement.
By the way, I did clap. But I have to confess that after he went to bed I made just a few slight adjustments on the board.....
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Burn the Germs!
Well The Kid is not so excited about it, but it looks like he'll be able to go back to school tomorrow. Since January 25, he has been to the doctor 4 times and missed 12 days of school with walking pneumonia. He is still weak, but I think he's on the mend. (He thinks he's invented a way to make himself feel like he has fever so he can stay home. Bad thing, though, he told us that's what he is trying to do!)
Now I think it's time to burn the germs! I am thinking a gallon of Clorox and a couple of cans of Lysol ought to do the trick! (Although I have been Lysol-ing during this time and it hasn't seemed to do much good.) It might be even better if I could just burn the layer of germs that are probably hiding out in every crevice waiting for me to go to bed so they can come out and party! You know how people burn down brush and weeds in the woods - I'd like to do that in my house! But I won't...not sure how to call the insurance company and explain the damge it'd do!
I was thinking that I probably need to ask Jesus to do this with my life, while I am at it...you know, burn out the stuff that gets in the way of the good stuff growing. So while I am Lysol-ing my house, I think I'll be doing some heart-cleaning, too!
Now I think it's time to burn the germs! I am thinking a gallon of Clorox and a couple of cans of Lysol ought to do the trick! (Although I have been Lysol-ing during this time and it hasn't seemed to do much good.) It might be even better if I could just burn the layer of germs that are probably hiding out in every crevice waiting for me to go to bed so they can come out and party! You know how people burn down brush and weeds in the woods - I'd like to do that in my house! But I won't...not sure how to call the insurance company and explain the damge it'd do!
I was thinking that I probably need to ask Jesus to do this with my life, while I am at it...you know, burn out the stuff that gets in the way of the good stuff growing. So while I am Lysol-ing my house, I think I'll be doing some heart-cleaning, too!
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