On this day two years ago, God smiled down from heaven and wrapped a piece of Himself in the flesh of a sweet baby girl. Tori makes me laugh and smile all at once. She is definitely her mother's child and that's ok with me, too! Every life she is a part of is happier and sweeter and so blessed just to know her.
Happy Birthday, Tori!
Grandmommy loves you!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Right Away, All the Way, and with a Happy Heart
For several years now, my standard for obedience for The Kid in my house has been to obey “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.” (I am so grateful to the mom who taught it to me. It makes me remember that we as moms should always be supporting one another.) Lately, however, I’ve been wondering if it would be enough for me to expect one or the other of these standards and let the others go. Otherwise I may never reach this lofty parenting goal. For example, if I call The Kid away from the computer, is it enough that he comes immediately? Should it bother me that he comes stomping and growling at me? Or if I send him to straighten his room, should I be content with the fact that he is not complaining even though he doesn’t even begin the task of picking up his stuff? Maybe I should lower my standards because, after all, he is only six!
After pondering this for some time now, I have become convinced of these three things:
1. God- through my friend- revealed the standard. It is His expectation, not just for my child, but for me as well.
2. I’m never going to get what I don’t model. Does my child see me completing my tasks “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart?” In other words, if I want to see it in my child, I’d better BE it first.
3. Sometimes obedience comes more easily and completely if the request is wrapped in encouragement, praise, and confidence in the child’s ability to perform the task. I find the same is true for myself. I am more willing to go the extra mile for someone who believes in me.
I have the proverbial head-hitting hammer I use often. It even comes with Bible verses like, “Honor your mother so you can live a long life!” and “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might,” and “Work like you’re doing it for Jesus…” I am discovering, as a result of this pondering, that it is so much easier to bonk someone else on the head (especially if the head belongs to someone shorter thatn me!) than it is to stop and take a look at myself. So that’s what I’m off to do and you can be sure that I’ll be more intentional about obeying God “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.”
After pondering this for some time now, I have become convinced of these three things:
1. God- through my friend- revealed the standard. It is His expectation, not just for my child, but for me as well.
2. I’m never going to get what I don’t model. Does my child see me completing my tasks “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart?” In other words, if I want to see it in my child, I’d better BE it first.
3. Sometimes obedience comes more easily and completely if the request is wrapped in encouragement, praise, and confidence in the child’s ability to perform the task. I find the same is true for myself. I am more willing to go the extra mile for someone who believes in me.
I have the proverbial head-hitting hammer I use often. It even comes with Bible verses like, “Honor your mother so you can live a long life!” and “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might,” and “Work like you’re doing it for Jesus…” I am discovering, as a result of this pondering, that it is so much easier to bonk someone else on the head (especially if the head belongs to someone shorter thatn me!) than it is to stop and take a look at myself. So that’s what I’m off to do and you can be sure that I’ll be more intentional about obeying God “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.”
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Help with Homework
Everyday after school, I give The Kid 5 minutes (well, we call it 5 minutes - it's usually more like 15 or 20) and then we sit down together to do homework. After researching the homework issue I know that The Kid has more than most anyone we know. We spend a minimum of an hour and up to two hours every night except Wednesdays and Fridays. (And, don't get me wrong, it's not that he doesn't have homework on Wednesdays or Fridays, it's just that we choose to give him a break. We only do what has to be done to squeak by on those days.) Anyway, The Kid has this school desk and he pulls it close to me, we get out the homework box and the fun begins! And it goes on and on and on and on.......
My job is to encourage him along on the independent stuff, make him write the answers neatly, listen to him read, and then to call out all the stuff he has to study for upcoming tests.
All this to say that it occurs to me that he never once has asked me to give him this much focused attention. I just do it and have done it since the beginning of the year. (He has, however, on more than one ocassion thanked me!) I don't mind it so much except that I'd rather spend the time with him walking in the park or reading what we choose.
Well yesterday we had guests over after school whose mom is in the hospital and so we had homework time all together. There were somed serious differences in their tasks. Each one of the other boys had only one worksheet, The Kid had 4. They had no required reading assignment so I made them each read a book, cause The Kid had to read two stories in one book and begin a book report on another. They did not have a list of three tests to study for on Friday either. During the course of doing homework, one of the guests asked, "Do you help him with his homework everyday? We do ours by ourselves."
At first I thought I might be a terrible mom for sitting with The Kid each day, but before I said anything, The Kid looked up long enough to reply matter-of-factly, "Of course she does." No other words just a quiet affirming acceptance of the fact that I will always be sitting in the chair beside him.
I started thinking that I am so glad God hangs around me even when I don't ask. I can count on the fact that when I do pull my chair up, He will have time for me. But bigger than that I can know that He never leaves me alone to figure stuff out on my own.
Thank you, God, for helping me with my "homework." Sometimes the assignments seem so big, but i am grateful that I can count on you to be sitting there, helping me and encouraging me even when I forget to ask.
My job is to encourage him along on the independent stuff, make him write the answers neatly, listen to him read, and then to call out all the stuff he has to study for upcoming tests.
All this to say that it occurs to me that he never once has asked me to give him this much focused attention. I just do it and have done it since the beginning of the year. (He has, however, on more than one ocassion thanked me!) I don't mind it so much except that I'd rather spend the time with him walking in the park or reading what we choose.
Well yesterday we had guests over after school whose mom is in the hospital and so we had homework time all together. There were somed serious differences in their tasks. Each one of the other boys had only one worksheet, The Kid had 4. They had no required reading assignment so I made them each read a book, cause The Kid had to read two stories in one book and begin a book report on another. They did not have a list of three tests to study for on Friday either. During the course of doing homework, one of the guests asked, "Do you help him with his homework everyday? We do ours by ourselves."
At first I thought I might be a terrible mom for sitting with The Kid each day, but before I said anything, The Kid looked up long enough to reply matter-of-factly, "Of course she does." No other words just a quiet affirming acceptance of the fact that I will always be sitting in the chair beside him.
I started thinking that I am so glad God hangs around me even when I don't ask. I can count on the fact that when I do pull my chair up, He will have time for me. But bigger than that I can know that He never leaves me alone to figure stuff out on my own.
Thank you, God, for helping me with my "homework." Sometimes the assignments seem so big, but i am grateful that I can count on you to be sitting there, helping me and encouraging me even when I forget to ask.
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